Mortifying Morning Conversations with Neighbors
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Neighbor I've Never Encountered:
Knock knock!
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Me:
Uh, hi. Can I help you?
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Neighbor I've Never Encountered:
I love that Lords of Acid song you were just playing. It wasn't very loud but your windows are open, so everyone can hear it walking by... It used to be one of my favorites. But did you know that your next-door neighbor's house is now a bus stop?
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Me:
(Horrified) Wait... what?
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Neighbor I've Never Encountered:
Yeah. A bus stop for elementary school kids.
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Me:
(More horrified.) Uh, no. No I did not. They, uh, they didn't hear --
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Neighbor I've Never Encountered:
Every word. I've just had to explain what a crab louse is. It was awkward.
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Me:
I'm so sorry! Thank you. We'll be watching MSNBC in the mornings from now on.
